I’ve always remembered having these anxious feelings since childhood. They were something I thought were just a part of me, that I’d have to live with and face whenever they appeared. Like so many, I’m not very good at talking about my emotions. I find it really easy writing down my feelings in a song and putting it out into the world for strangers to hear, but so difficult sharing my deepest thoughts with the people closest to me.
By putting this song out into the world, I hope that it helps me feel more comfortable talking about my anxiety with the people I love. And maybe it could help somebody else going through something similar too.
Last summer, it all became a little bit overwhelming. I’d been living in Stockholm for around six months making music and living a simple, peaceful life after a really sad break up in London. I’d then spent a few months in LA with my new team setting the foundations for my first music releases. I’d landed back in London after being away for a long time and felt a bit lost, a bit afraid of what the next few years of my life were going to look like. I was also very, very broke.
I wrote ‘Therapy’ in August last year with my friend Jonny Wright just before I was about to begin a course of cognitive behavioural therapy. This song was my way of acknowledging to myself that I wasn’t in a very good headspace, and that I was a little afraid of what I was about to embark on. I had a course of 10 sessions over three months, and in that short time I discovered more about myself than I think I have in my whole adult life. It helped me learn so much about myself and my habits, how I’m often kind to the people around me, but not very kind to myself.
I can honestly say it’s been pretty life-changing for me. Not in some grand celebratory way, but just on a day-to-day level. I’m not waking up at 4am playing back embarrassing things I said the day before.
I’d never considered speaking to anyone about it - my friends, family or a professional - but I’m so glad I did. I can honestly say it’s been pretty life-changing for me. Not in some grand celebratory way, but just on a day-to-day level. I’m not waking up at 4am playing back embarrassing things I said the day before, I’m not working myself so hard that I don’t have time to sit down and reflect, and I’m certainly being a lot kinder to myself, which is a really great feeling.
By putting this song out into the world, I hope that it helps me feel more comfortable talking about my anxiety with the people I love. And maybe it could help somebody else going through something similar too, which would be incredible.
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