16th June 2023

A Letter to Myself: Richie Driss on grief

Name: Campaign Against Living Miserably
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If you could write a letter to a past you, what would it say? What advice would you give to that person who was struggling 1,2,5 or 10 years ago? Welcome to Letter To Myself - where familiar faces share theirs.

Grief’s an uncomfortable and difficult topic and even though it’s something we all go through at some point in our lives, it can be really tough to talk about.

TV presenter Richie Driss knows the weight of grief and how difficult it can be to nail it down to one word or emotion. Here, Richie writes a letter to himself, fresh after losing his dad and grappling with grief and the emotional fallout that comes with losing a parent. He speaks about the things that have helped him move forward and how he’s learning to live with this loss.

Hello mate,

You’ve been putting this off writing this letter for far too long. Partly because of how busy you are with work, partly because you’ve been arranging your dad's funeral, and partly because holding a mirror up to yourself and embracing a little self-awareness when you’re at a very low point in your life means acknowledging and facing the fact that you are, indeed, feeling like utter shit.

It’s not the first time you’ve felt the pits, and, I'll be honest with you, it won’t be the last. Losing a parent isn’t something you’ll have to go through often, but it is the worst you’ve ever felt in your life. I know this. I was there. It’s a truly awful part of what life is - and at least when the inevitable happens again, you’ll know what’s coming and therefore be better equipped for it. You’ll be older and wiser yourself. You’ll be stronger in every way possible. Those tidal waves of random emotion won’t hit you like a lorry appearing from nowhere; you’ve experienced them before and are now more aware.

Last time you lost someone close to you may have been 6 years ago, but look at all the good that’s come since. Particularly in your career…in that, now, you actually have one!

Each time you’ve faced some bullshit, you’ve been able to take it and convert it into fuel to push you onto bigger and better things. From your upbringing to losing grandad and now losing dad. Let’s go again and use these few thousand gallons to propel us forward, onward and upwards.

One thing’s for sure, you haven’t experienced all that life has to offer yet. There are so many incredible opportunities for you to seize, so many incredible moments to own and so much more life to live.

Those terrible moments may make you feel like giving up, but through learning about yourself, they contribute more to the baffling, awe-inspiring, wondrous, limited time on this planet than all of the good moments do. And when those good moments do roll around, you’ll embrace them far more for having suffered. You’ll have earned the right to enjoy them far more than if you had lived a hardship free, cosy life.

Life is a series of peaks and troughs. You’ve come this far and battled this hard, so in the eternal words of Arnold Schwarzenegger in Predator: "Stick Around."

Richie

Whether you’ve lost someone, gone through a breakup, or lost a job, grief can be really tough to deal with. If you’re struggling with it, our CALM Guide on grief can help you process whatever you’re going through.

And if you need to talk, our helpline and webchat is open everyday from 5pm until midnight.

📷 Photography by Ellie Ramsden