Tanju: The Lost Hours Walk has become our way of remembering Turan
Tanju’s took on her second Lost Hours Walk in 2021 to remember her son Turan. They zipped up their pink hoodies and held their Lost Hours Walk scarves high in a walk that’s fast becoming part of their family traditions.
“We started last year. It was my niece who organised it. We do it as a wider family, all his cousins, and uncles and aunts. Everyone joins in. It's becoming a big family thing. It is about celebrating him.”
“We all wear pink hoodies that say Team Turan on them. Pink was his favourite colour. And then we carry the Lost Hours Walk banners as well.
"When we did it last year, so many people stopped and asked about what we were doing. It was really good to get people actually talking about suicide.”
“And honestly, it just felt so good last year that we thought, ‘we can't stop this’. We are setting up little rituals every year to remember him. On his birthday and the day he took his life we remember him, and now this has become part of that, part of our ritual as a family. We're excited to be doing something. It feels good. And hopefully there's a knock on effect as well.
There’s not just one reason that the family takes on the walk. Instead it’s a combination of things.
“It's a way to remember Turan, but a way to raise a little bit more money and awareness. I don't think my son knew where to go. If doing the walk stops one other person, if it means that somebody has access to something that can help them when they feel like there's no hope, that would make such a big difference to us. It wouldn't be a wasted life, it would have some impact. And he would love that because he was a very caring, empathetic soul.
Bereavement by suicide is unlike any other loss. As well as grief and devastation, there are other emotions that come into play - like guilt or even shame. Something Tanju hopes to tackle by taking on the walk.
“I think it’s really important that people are aware how prevalent suicide is. People still have this outdated image of what suicide is."
"When my son took his life people, people who were trying to be kind, commented that it was selfish. But it isn’t. He was actually bloody brave. I would rather he hadn't taken his life. And I would rather young people like him stay and get the help they need. That’s why we’re doing the walk.”
Whatever your reason, walk with us.
The Lost Hours Walk is our opportunity to deal with grief differently and defiantly, and to remember our sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, partners and friends. Join us, and help smash the silence around suicide, as well as supporting CALM’s life-saving helpline and webchat.
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