CALM'S GUIDE TO
masturbation worries

IS MASTURBATING NORMAL?

The good news is, that whatever you’re doing, the chances are it’s normal. Sex, and sexual pleasure isn’t one size fits all. Everyone likes different things, in different ways, at different times. You could say there’s no such thing as normal when it comes to sexual preferences. Some like a lot of sex, some aren’t fussed – the important thing is to not judge yourself (or other people) for what they get up to.

There are a few things you might want to talk to someone about. CALM’s free, anonymous and non-judgemental helpline is there to chat about whatever’s getting you down. You might want to talk to someone if:

• You’re masturbating so much that it doesn’t feel good or is getting in the way of your everyday life.
• You are wanking in a public place, or around someone who is not aware of your actions.
• You can’t stop thinking about masturbating in a way that’s unwanted or intrusive, and is affecting your day-to-day activities.

Masturbation is a very private thing, so it can be hard to talk about it. If you’re worried about masturbation, it might help to talk to a trusted friend or family member. Sometimes, talking about masturbation may not be appropriate, so make sure the person you are speaking to is comfortable and consents to the conversation.

WHY DO PEOPLE MASTURBATE?

Simply? Because it feels good. Masturbation begins with arousal – that could be watching porn or thinking sexual thoughts. You can find out more about sexuality in our CALM guide to sexuality. Masturbating is completely normal, and for many is the first sexual experience they have. It’s a good way to learn about your sexual needs and desires, but studies have shown it can also help you sleep, relax, and even boost your self-confidence.

As long as what you’re doing is safe, don’t worry about what other people say about masturbating. There aren’t any negative physical or mental effects, so nope it won’t affect your eyesight, it doesn’t mean you’re odd or disgusting, and it won’t make you bad at sex.

TALKING ABOUT MASTURBATION

Masturbation is a very private thing, so it can be hard to talk about it. If you’re worried about masturbation, it might help to talk to a trusted friend or family member.

Sometimes, talking about masturbation may not be appropriate, so make sure the person you are speaking to is comfortable and consents to the conversation.

“Can I talk to you about masturbation/sex? I’m not sure about ______ and it’s making me feel low”

Header illustration by Toby Triumph